Stability

Man do I need some right now. I feel like physically, emotionally and mentally I am on a merry-go-round of emotion. Most days right now I am down... really down, and I can not figure out why. My best guess is that I have let myself get away from that which makes me strong, yet on the surface things do not appear that way.

Sometimes I wish that I was back on Maui. I had a good friend there that could talk me through these situations. He would never offer advice, he would just ask questions. Through those questions I was generally able to see what was going on whether I wanted to see the answer or not. It was almost like he knew me better than I knew myself.

I guess in a way he did. He had been in my shoes before, and a lot of the situations I was encountering he had already had to work his way through. I guess I was lucky. Throughout my life I always had older male mentors. People who taught me how to be men and loved me enough to let me know when I was being a bonehead. A lot of my friends were left to their own devices to feel their way through life and figure things out on their own. I never had that problem.

Now, without my biggest mentor, my father, here to help and my best friends being half a world away I find myself standing on shifting sands. I have to work my way through this on my own without alienating me from those I love the most. I also have to realize that I am in a position where young men are looking at me as a model. Even Christ took some time away though... I wonder what it was that He said in those times when He was alone, in prayer with His Father... I know that I need to retreat on my own to prayer... Perhaps this time I will say nothing and just listen...

Prayers,

Pisio