Pappa Bear

Watching waiting wondering.
Are you there? Do you look down on me with pride, or disgust.
I am not the man we planned on me being, and yet I am a shadow of him.
There is still hope for me, that I can become half the man and father that you were, that you still are...

Two kids now, a wife and a mortgage...
I push carts pappa bear. I push carts.

I watch the sprinklers now, more and more.
Wondering when it will be the last day I can.
It is only a matter of time. I am still reeling from that day.
You left so suddenly, but we all knew how you felt.
You loved us, you still do.

No degree, still struggling...
I push carts pappa bear. I push carts.

Mikey makes me laugh; a complete joy.
You would have loved his so, but you left too soon.
I know you can see him down here, running in the sprinklers.
He knows you, mom has made sure of that. Pappi.
We miss you, more than we knew.

Worried about the future, no reserves left.
I push carts pappa bear. I push carts.

So much on my mind; I do not sleep at night.
I wonder lost through the day.
I miss you and your guidance; your love.
Now you love us in ways we can't see or feel.
Little consolation; yet you do.

I push carts pappa bear. I push carts.